…
What? I like to play around with nature 
My move to Calgary seems definite now. My cousin says she will help me out when I’m there. I don’t think I’ll need much help other than getting used to wha’s in the big city. I’ve never lived near a city downtown core and I want to live in Calgary’s downtown.
My friends were showing some hesitations today. I reassured them I’d be fine, I have lived the past year compeltely alone, although within range of my parents and friends. One of my best friends will take her vacation and come visit me, I promised to pay the fare there . They did make some good points, I am not very good at making new friends, I am trying to figure that out more, I think I am getting better at that.
In other news, by 2015 Calgary will have around a 9,000 worker shortage. This was reported by news organizations as the coming “labour crunch”, which is only good for me if you understand a bit of economics. If there is an undersupply of people they will pay more to have people work for them, paying more for me .
Today must be around week 2 or 3 of trying to find a job. Outside is summer and everything is so nice, but I can hardly appreciate it when I think about my school debt :/. I suppose a job gives someone structure, most days just blur together and bordem is of course at its highest. My friends have been a great help in keeping me busy, going out to local restaurants, playing cards and such. It feels like I’ve just been doing the same old stuff for weeks, blah… I’ll figure something out.
Here we have Crazy Lady Jane Skrovota giving her testimony at a hearing on a proposed LGBT non-discrimination ordinance in Lincoln, Nebraska. Well, it's less of a testimony and more of a "I'll string the most absurd insults I can think of and hope it comes out in a complete sentence" rant. The best parts of the video are the reactions from the guy sitting behind her. Pay attention to him.
Here are some of the best "What the hell is she saying" lines:
"P- E- N- I- S goes into the anus to rupture intestines. The more a man does this the more he'll be a fatality or a homicider..."
"A huge percent of gay men in school grounds molest boys, partly because they don't have AIDS yet..."
[One of my favorites] "Hillary Clinton's roommate four years in college was a gay woman. To avoid going gay like Clinton did, college students need single rooms and single gender dorms... A college woman is seduced with illegal Rohypnol to go gay."
"Candida fungus grows hugely on a corpse. AIDS is a candida fungus disease..."
"Roman senators went to Roman baths to be promiscuous gays, bis, and orgiers then went to the Coliseum to watch Christians get mauled and perish. Do gays become this sadistic? Yes. They cuss after coupling, don't like the land they lay on, and 80% of those that did treason by the year 2000 are gays."
"Gays can transform to be celibate to live to be 80 years old."
"Read the book Nijinsky to understand that bisexuals always become insane."
"Jesus was kissed by Judas, a homo, who tried to sabotage Jesus' kind ideas. Do you choose Jesus, a celibate, or Judas, a homo? You have to choose!"
Usually the best thing to do is to ignore these people and everything they say, but sometimes it's good to be reminded we're dealing with people like this. And they're usually good for a laugh or two. Thank you to the local blogger in Nebraska for sharing this gem!
and like every Mother’s Day I will do my best not to do anything associated with the day! lol it is completely fabricated to sell more stuff and has completely lost any improtance in my life, same with family day (which I’m sure they’ll come out with presents for that day) and Father’s day. Why do we buy in to these one day events, you live more than one day why not be a good person all the time?
Today isn’t the first day I’ve realized this, it’s more of noteworthy item in my history.
A year ago I broke apart from my two best friends in a big fight we had that happened overnight. It led into angry text messages and the deleting of Facebook friends. I think it was mostly my fault for not surfacing issues immediately.
The noteworthiness of this is the reaction I felt after I had broken away from them. It’s difficult to describe but it was similar to gut wrenching pain and a consistent uneasy feeling. I had never felt this way before, I felt really gross on the inside.
Feelings quickly turned into thoughts of getting them back. The timing of this event was prior to a significant life event for them so it was really not good timing at all or this to happen. I felt dead on the inside, like nothing I did mattered beyond this.
We eventually wrote super sad letters to each other describing the issues that had been going on and how our friendship was far more important than the matters at hand. We’re still best friends and smoothed over those issues with solutions and we now live in different environments and have much more breathing room so all is good.
I really should start writing more happy stories 
Last night I had the most interesting dream. Two of my friends and I had time travelled back to when the farm which they live at had no electricity and vehicles didn’t exist. IT was strange for me to see the amount of details I thought of.
I’m not sure why I found this dream so fascinating. The farm rarely changes so maybe I was thinking that this would be the opportunity to change how they see the World. I know time travel is really a joke when we consider time and space but I still found it interesting. If we move back in time by one day we have to move the diameter of the Earth within that window to end up on Earth and not even in the exact same place. This is contrary to any time travel story told to you in the movies.
Perhaps this dream was fixated on the farm because it is such a nice place to go. When I think of perfect landscapes I need only think of the farm. It is probably also because I see so much opportunity in shifting the landscape to make it play with colourful thoughts such as a field of flowers (idea from Twilight) or a vast collection of bee hives for harvest (idea from farmers’ market trips).
I don’t know what it is if not passion. I feel like I have this giant void in my life. It’s like it’s screaming at me or starring me right in the face. I don’t know what it is but I feel like I should do something. It’s difficult to describe and I’m not sure if passion or purpose or something else is the best way to frame it.
You can’t build a boat if you don’t know where or can’t find where it is sturdy enough to build one. You can’t sail the seas if you don’t have a boat.
I don’t know where it is sturdy… I’m drifting through the waters trying to find my place here.
My hope is the eventuality of it. My hope is a drive to find a drive. Perhaps I should be happy that right now I am not as serious, many haven’t found the right place to build a boat and have made it to great places.
I really like this analogy, this is just me writing… so much more natural than business writing I am so used to.
First, I’ve become a bit obsessive about finding a new job. A couple days ago I applied to work at a call centre. It’s not very well liked and I can think of a ton of reasons for it not to be considering the average opinion people have of them. In six months I will have to begin paying back student debt which isn’t exactly thrilling me.
Second, I’ve passed up an offer to go to Malta, an exotic island with warm beaches and lizards . I will attempt to set up the same thing for next year. I really wanted to go but who would honestly work while visitng a tropical paradise lol. The idea of going entices me, the last time I was there I was 6. There is a ton of ancient culture and I could waste years looking at it all.
Third, I think this whole boyfriend issue is going to be left alone for a while. I don’t really see the point of pursuing it in any fashion lately. I think that I should get to know myself a bit more and spend more time on me. I think I will continue to just tell people about who I am etc. – more later, brother is ranting about blah blah blah…
