Calgary has limited choices when it comes to the gay scene. Then again it is a highly conservative city. I realize that most of my posts are negative in perspective… I think this is just a part of me that I am struggiling to change but desperately want to.
Although I had originally intended this post for another angle I think it is incredibly hard to trust people and be positive. Everyday I go over the past, comb it over like I’m going to see soemthing different. I’m sickly in love with the past.
Before I left Ontario there as someone that I found most interesting. He was a hard core environmentalist and his every issue was interesting to me, I wanted to learn for him, debate with him, and comfort him. It seems strange that I’m interested in him to me, he so original… There are few people I’ve met like him.
He kind of makes me hate myself though. I am almost the complete opposite in terms of perspective. Although I respect green iniatives my drive is part profit. He doesn’t work to my knowledge and lives off his friends or family. I suppose this is something I could agree with if he owned his own farm or something where that kind of lifestyle works (in my mind).
Perhaps it is also because he has shown me kindness and personal interest that I respond this way. It could also be a response from when he described the injustice of big oil versus aboriginal children and started to cry.