Unexpected


Today I was about a half hour late for work. This was very strange as even when there was a really bad snow storm I’d still only be 20 minutes late.

 

Today of all days it was actually warmer only about -7 C and the first bus I was going to catch was in an accident so I knew I was going to be late catching my connection (another bus, yay). So today in general wasn’t going the greatest.

 

On top of all this I am really starting to hate my work, I keep counting the days to the end of each month so I can say I made it another month in this place. 

 

Today I was just standing at the bus stop, inside by the overhead heaters (yes, they are strange things to me still (Calgary is the only other place I’ve seen them) and I saw him again.

 

I was more or less looking straight forward against a wall and he walked by me. Yeah, I know how much this sounds like a little school girl having a crush on someone but well… that’s pretty much how this is playing out.

 

Today he had rather dirty hair, well it was kind of choppy and shiny, so it didn’t look very washed…. yet he still looked very attractive (“damn it” I thought to myself taking in his beauty). I get kind of frustrated when he is around too, I can’t say anything intelligent, just like that school girl crush thing. I was thinking of saying something along the lines of “oh the weather sure is cold” or “the buses sure are running late” but I kept thinking to myself wow that would sound really stupid. So I said nothing.

 

Ugh why is this so difficult. I’m twenty three. Why can’t I just go up to him and say “Hi, you look nice, would you like to go on a date some time?” and not worry too much about the response or how it was said or well all that stuff.

 

Because I pay a lot of attention to body non-verbal cues from my work and security and general life experience I also noticed one other thing, that well is small and hardly worth noting. While he moved in front of me then off to the left while I was still standing there, he looked back at me for a split second and moved his eyes around as to appear to not be just looking at me (I of course did the same scattered look at if I’m looking around at shadows cast outside the window). He didn’t have to look backwards, there wasn’t and sound/cue to look back and he’s not paranoid so perhaps this is a sign he likes me. But really this is an overly stalkerish examination of what he does and more of a digression of thought.

 

Until next time,

 

J

 

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